Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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