I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
