Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
