Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
