I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
