And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
