I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
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four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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