How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
