i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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