Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize