Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
