you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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