i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
