She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my shit smells like andre
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
