You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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