I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
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I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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