so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Never joke about your clitoris.
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