I like to think it a success when the cops are called
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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