i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
