i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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