sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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