You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
