He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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