i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
