carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
