**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
