you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
