Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
