it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
