Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
