He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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