Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
