If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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