would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
