I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize