Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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