She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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