I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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