Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
