Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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