This girl is more easily done than said...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
