I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
