I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
