i would punch a child for taco bell
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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