my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
