and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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