I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
dude. I can hear the air.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
