I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
