What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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