Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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