Nicole vs. Life
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize