K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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