She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize