Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
