It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
