Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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