so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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