Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
